Karel Čapek, 1937
Peace
We do not want war. A punitive expedition is sufficient against the weaker.
No war
Proof that we really do not want war: we fight without declaring war.
Note
As proof of our peace-loving nature, we show our willingness to have the enemy surrender to our mercy.
Protest
We complain to the civilized world that the barbarous enemy, instead of accepting our terms, lets us kill his women and children.
Report
Our air force bombed the enemy forces with resounding success. One soldier, seventy women and a hundred children were killed.
Proof
As proof of our efforts to come to an agreement with a neighboring state, we began bombing its open cities.
Report
The enemy attempted to insidiously fire on our planes, which were peacefully dropping bombs on its cities.
Goodwill
We are willing to submit our conflict to an international conference, but on the condition that it will be in our favor.
The progress of civilization
They shoot more effectively, but at least it's not called war anymore.
Gangster
Sir, if you defend yourself, I would have been forced to consider it unfriendly behavior.
Robber
He attacked me, while I was only defending my interest in his wallet.
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